Chapter 4
Lily’s(The mother’s) POV
I dumped myself on the bed in a loud thud and curled into a ball as I hugged my knees tightly- a depressed ball. I felt this heavy pain in my chest indicating my heart was tired.
I never planned my motherhood to turn out as sorrowful as this. Was it that I made the wrong decision marrying Leo, or I made a mistake giving birth to Tory, or I shouldn’t have chosen to become a mother. Aren’t mothers made for happiness?
Are mothers not ought to enjoy being a mother and not regret existing?
My heart beats slower each day as my soul grows weaker.
I’m so exhausted from living, but I need to be strong for my kids, Tory especially even though she despises me so much.
“leave me alone, I hate you!”those words replayed in my head like a movie. those same words were already inscribed boldly on my heart, those same words were being whispered to my earlobe by my own soul. I never wanted to be in the wrong family, I never chose to build a home with no unity.
I already tried putting love together to build unity but it gets worse over and over again. Should I just quit trying and watch everything fall apart for us to live like total strangers till the very end?
“you’re just a boy with a beard!!”I heard my second favourite child, Liam yelling probably at his father which disturbed my whimpering.
“You’re not-“SMACK!!! My heart jumped from its place. Only silence came after that sound, the only audible sound was my weak heartbeat. I resumed my whimpering again until the darkness I wished for engulfed me silently.
~
I woke up the next morning only to find out it wasn’t the darkness I wished for that overwhelmed me, it was just a lighter shade of darkness.
I sighed deeply before rubbing my small baby bump realising this kind of depression could hurt my unborn child which would probably be my least favourite child since I wasn’t willing to have the baby. I only decided to keep the baby since the day Leo put him/her in there was the first day he ever considered having any sexual activity with me in five years only because he was tipsy and didn’t realise what he was doing. I ignored the fact that he was blurting out another lady’s name while he was $€xing me and kept the baby.
I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the kids. Leo had left for work even before I awoken as usual. I prepared pancakes and dishes it out for each of my kids excluding Tory since she wasn’t home. I went to Liam’s room and knocked on the door.
“Sweetie, are you up?”I shouted while I pressed my head against the door.
“Good morning mum. Yes, I am”he shouted back.
“You don’t want to be late for school. Chop chop”
“Sure Mum, is breakfast ready?”
“Of course sweetheart”
“Okay. Will be there soon”
“Okay”
I smiled as I made a beeline to my third favourite kid’s room. I still didn’t know why Tory was my favourite though she hated me so much and causes me more than enough trouble. I just felt this unchangeable love and unbreakable bond between us, maybe because she was my first child.
I walked into Abi’s room and knelt before her bed to cup her cute chubby cheeks softly.
“Wakey wakey. Mummy’s here little sunshine. Time for school”I grinned making sure I hide my bleeding heart from her at all cost.
“M-mummy”she yawned.
“Yes baby. Mr shower is waiting”I replied before shoving her off the bed in one scoop like an ice-cream. I took her to the shower, gave her a bath, clothed her and took her to the dining to feed her.
Just in time, Liam joined us.
“You made pancakes?”Liam asked.
I replied, “yeah”I said before cutting a tiny piece of pancake and fed it to Abi. Liam also began munching.
“She can feed herself, you know?”Liam spoke.
“No, she can’t”I replied
“She’s five. She can”
“She’ll make a mess. She’s my daughter, I get to decide feeding her or not”
“I’m sorry Abi’s mother, but you also need to eat. You need some energy to take your daughter to school. Let her feed herself, like that you both get energy. Boom!”
“No Liam. She’ll make a mess and ruin her outfit”
“Fine, then I’ll feed her, now eat”
“You’ll be late for school darling”
“I insist”
“Liam! Grab your backpack and get to school. Now! G-“I felt a discomfort in my tummy that made me wince in pain.
“I’m sorry Mum”he apologized.
“It’s fine Liam”I said as I resumed feeding my little sunshine. Liam wore plastic smile before grabbing his backpack to leave.
I finished feeding Abi so I carried her in my arms before setting out for her school. I took her to her classroom where other parents were telling their kids goodbye.
Some mothers were with their husbands but where’s mine? Working as a manager and not giving a tiny f**k about his family, not even kissing me goodbye before leaving.
Abi jerked her hand away from mine as she ran to her bestie. I went and knelt before them before speaking. “Hey there little Betty, watch over Abi for me, okay?”. Betty nodded.
